Ejected!

I got kicked out of a Middle School gym this weekend.

This weekend my daughter's team played in an 8th grade basketball tournament in Sweetwater, TX. They played two games on Friday night and one early Saturday morning. Their first game was against Midland Christian School who has a 6 foot 8th grade girl on the team. The Jim Ned Lady Indians (JNLI) eeked out a 1 point win against a competitve ball team. It was fun to watch! Then fifteen minutes after their first game, JNLI had to play against the host team the 8th grade B Team of the Sweetwater Lady Mustangs. This game was NOT fun to watch. In fact it was horrifying!

After the game, as we discussed what it was like, the consensus was that it was like watching something out of a bad prison movie. I have never seen any team so inappropriately aggressive as the Sweetwater 8th grade B team. Many of the JNLI parents passed comments back and forth through out the game wondering if the JNLI coach would forefit and walk out at half time. It was literally that bad. My family and I happened to eat at the same restraunt as the team after the game and the coach told us it was one of the most unsafe environments in which she had ever been.

Half-way through the third quarter after 3 of our girls were injured, I noticed a man who seemed to be a school offical/administrator talking to the referees. It was my assumption that he was telling them to get the game under control and to speak to the Sweetwater coach about the chaoticly aggressive manner of play. The Sweetwater grils seemed to ease up in the 4th quarter. Through out the game I had been considering writing a letter to the Sweetwater ISD about how apalling this experience had been and I believe I am pretty good at composing rational, professional, yet direct correspondence. But seeing this man have this talk with the referees, I thought a face-to-face conversation would be appropriate as well, and he might be willing to receive it. So, I began to formulate my thoughts and strategy as to how to approach him without coming across as an out of control parent.

At the end of the game, I approached this man just after he escorted the referees to their changing room. I extended my hand, introduced myself by name and as a parent with the Jim Ned team. I then asked if he was indeed a school offical. He confirmed that he was a school official, and I thought the best means of begining this conversation was with a complament. So, I said to him, "I appreciate you talking to those referees during the game." The man smiled and nodded and basically said, "Yeah, no problem." Then I told him, "But sir, it should have been done long before the 3rd quarter because what was going on out there was apalling." Apparently, he didn't like this part. He asked me if I was a school offical and when he confirmed I was "just a parent" he got this dismissive expression on his face and said, "Oh, OK, OK, yeah, OK, thank you very much Mr. Irby for your comment. Thank you very much." and he started walking back toward the crowd. I walked behind him and was about to add my final comment which was going to be, "Someone should have a talk with that girls' coach about what she is allowing to happen on the court." I only got up to "girls' coach" when he whirled around, red-faced and yelled in my face, "That girls' coach is my wife!" He continued yelling, "You have just crossed a line! Get out of my gym and get out now before I call the police Mr. Irby!" "Don't you come back!" I told him I would be glad to leave and walked away. I later found out that my family thought the guy was going to hit me. I didn't have that fear because he had already threatened to call the cops, and knew he probably wouldn't risk an asault charge.

I went to our suburban and waited for my family to get there. I didn't know if they would be embarrassed, angry, or what. Turned out, they were glad I had talked with the man and for maintaining composure.

I understand the man being upset with me, but his behavior was extreme and completely unprofessional. I did not know the coach was married to the official, and I think if I had slandered her in some way, I should have been ejected. I was simply trying to follow what I thought to be the appropriate "chain of command" to have something done about the inappropriate aggression taking place on the court. While I know it is up to the coaches and referees to maintain order, when both fail to do so, I think it is the administrations place to step in and bring about a solution. This administrator had other viable choices such as continuing to be dismissive with me and saying, "OK, I'll be sure someone talks with her." or by simply telling me "Excuse me, that coach is my wife and I would appreciate it if you would keep your opinions about her to yourself." Either one would have been much more appropriate.

After our final game on Saturday (which I attended), the JNLI coach asked that we be "uninvited" next year. She clarified to the Sweetwater coach that this had been one of the most unsafe environments in which she had ever coached because apparently the A team had a similar experience.

I never thought I'd be ejected from a gym.