This weekend my wonderful wife and I made a quick roadtrip to the Valley for the purpose of delivering a refrigerator to my mother. We also attended church with her.
Now for many of you reading this, attending church with your mother is not that big of a deal. For Laurie and I it was a new worship experience because my mother attends a congregation that is predominantly homosexual. The church meets in a rented storefront and there were about 20-25 people there that morning. My mother is a part of the praise team who leads out in worship through song. That morning, my mother's partner was asked to fill-in the pulpit for their pastor who was away, so as a show of support to her, Laurie and I decided to attend church with them.
Whenever I attend church I find it much easier to analyze and critique than to truly enter into worship, so it takes a concentrated effort for me to look past the distractions of who is sitting where and if the order of service seems too full or imbalanced and focus on the Audience of my Lord. This week I found it even more difficult to focus. Not because I was judging the people who gathered for worship or questioned their sincerity or genuineness of their faith, but because I was worried about what they must be thinking about me. I was sure they were looking at Laurie and I and either viewing us as spiritual "party crashers" or raising their defenses waiting for us to judge them assuming we were homophobic. I was VERY uncomfortable... at first.
I paused to say my own silent prayer asking God to focus my mind and attention on Him and to allow me to worship with and among this congregation.
It was a nice service. Cheri did a good job with her message. We took communion together and at the end of the service they had a moment of "sharing the peace of God with others" where the people greeted one another with a hug and the words, "may the peace of God be with you." Laurie and I got our fair share of hugs and one man chose to shake my hand and hug my wife (given the choice I'd do the same thing). I made a concerted effort to look people in the eye and hold their gaze with a smile as if to communicate, "I don't judge you." Quite often I found the same message in the eyes of those sharing the peace of God with me.
