Coincidence

Toward the end of this semester of the Life Span Development class I teach,  we were discussing Erikson's middle adulthood stage of Generativity  vs. Stagnation.  Simply put, it is in this stage that 40-somethings begin to reflect on their life and see what kind of legacy they are leaving behind.  As a part of this discussion we address the existential issue of meaning.  Since HSU is a Christian University, as a part of this chapter I introduce the notion that the idea that "everything happens for a purpose" might be a bit off-base.  What I believe to be true, is slightly, but importantly different.  I believe "from everything a purpose can come."  I don't want to take too much time clarifying and explaining the difference (I already did that in a previous post a while ago).  As I offered my reasoning for the difference, a student raised her hand and asked me if I believed the saying, "there is no such thing as coincidence."  I thought for a moment formulating a response because I know how fervently some people can cling to such cliches as theological "shortcuts."  I decided the best route to follow was the frankly honest route. 

No, I don't believe that there is "no such thing as coincidence."  Simply because of the absolute nature of the statement -- "NO such thing..." I understand and appreciate the sentiment of the cliche which is to illustrate how God can work covertly to bring about "divine appointments" that others might simply explain away as simple coincidence.  It is the notion that every thing is connected and predetermined for a deeper meaning that only we can know in hindsight in this life or ultimately revealed to us in the next.  Again, I take issue with the absolute nature of that sentiment.  As an example, I shared how the other day my boss and I coincidentally wore the same color scheme to work (melon green polo shirt and khaki pants).  We don't have a uniform at work and we didn't call each other and arrange to be "twinkies" it just happened by coincidence. To believe there is "no such thing" would be to assign some type of deeper meaning to the unwitting coordination of colors.  I simply don't believe that to be the case.  Therefore, I do believe in coincidence.

However, I have had experiences that many would chalk-up to coincidence that I believe is true to the spirit of that cliche.  There have been numerous times I have had a random thought about an old friend or a former client who have not been an active part of my life for months or years and this friend calls out of the blue or the client returns to therapy within days of that seeming random thought.  It is almost like retrospective foreshadowing and I immediately believe there is a reason and orchestration to this "coincidence".

God still works in mysterious ways.

Oh, Please!!!

Today, I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with my wonderful wife. It is rare more due to my schedule than hers. Since my morning appointments all canceled and/or rescheduled, it freed me up to do something I love to do.

On the way to her school, I was listening to Paul Harvey deliver the news. A mixture of emotions ranging from frustration, sadness, and disbelief manifested themselves as sarcastic laughter as I heard his proclamation that LifeWay Christian Bookstores has hidden the most recent issue of "Gospel Today" Magazine. To purchase this month's issue you must REQUEST it. Why? Why is a Christian magazine censored as if it were a pornographic publication? Because, the cover displayed WOMEN! Not women who are scantily clad or of questionable reputation. Women who dare to serve in the role of Pastor.

You see LifeWay Christian Bookstores is owned by the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC)and the ordination of women as pastor or chaplain is viewed as unbiblical and therefore doctrinally unsound. Therefore, the magazine cover and subsequent story of women who love God, love people, and spend time in prayerful biblical study and preparation before being God's mouth-piece is somehow offensive. Oh, Please!

A quick Google of the issue brought me to a pastor's blog who stated that he supported the SBC in this stance adding that "scripture is clear [about this issue]." Oh, Please! I'm sorry, but to believe that scripture is "clear" on this issue and on the side of the SBC's most recent revision of the Baptist Faith and Message is utterly ridiculous and it is a narrow interpretation of passages detailing the people to serve as overseers as "husband of one wife" and completely ignores the role of people like Deborah and Phoebe.

It embarrasses me as a Christian and as a Baptist to hear a story like this broadcast.

Let me be clear... LifeWay has the right to censor what resources they offer and where they place products based on their doctrinal stances. On some level, I respect the fact that they have guts enough to allow their convictions to determine their course (such is the life of faith). According to a loose and abridged take on the "priesthood of the believer" doctrine we have the ability to disagree on interpretations. There are more important issues about which we as Christians and Baptists should be proactive. Issues about which we agree. Issues that can lead to more healing and restoration rather than more division. Maybe, this posting does the same thing -- further widens the gap of division.

I should've just told you how awesome it was to have lunch with my wife on a Tuesday.

"Being" versus "Doing"

As a church we are going through a bible study series called "Inside Out." One of the first studies focused on the difference between "doing church" and "being church." The obvious correlation to the theme, is "doing church" is what typically happens within the walls of the church (i.e. attending programs/meetings) and "being church is what happens on the outside of the walls (e.g. building relationships with unchurched and/or "least of these"). While I agree with the premise, I find it somewhat limited. First of all, I think we should "be the church" to those in the church. This can and should happen within the walls of the church. What happens when those "unchurched" start "doing church" and they find Christians who won't "be the church" in the church? For that matter, what about those long-time faithful who are hurting and seem to fall through the cracks because we are so busy doing church?

Here are a few more insights pondered as a result of the study:

1. When we talk about "being church" the focus seems to be primarily on others "out there" and we tend to forget that we need to be the church to our spouses and children before or as we are being the church to "them."

2. We discussed "barriers" that prevent the church or Christianity from palatability in much of society. There is a wonderful trend in evangelical Christian literature and teaching that is emphasizing the relationship style of evangelism versus the "hit and run" confrontation style that was so popular through the 70's, 80's, and early 90's. This trend also emphasizes the need to be salt and light in the world and the power of love over condemnation. I think of the ancient words of the Psalmist that Chris Tomlin integrated in to one of his songs, "It's your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance." This trend will remove much of the barriers history has given us.

I need to spend more time "being" (i.e. moving out the way and allowing Christ to emanate through me) as salt and light.

In the Eyes of Strangers

This weekend my wonderful wife and I made a quick roadtrip to the Valley for the purpose of delivering a refrigerator to my mother. We also attended church with her.

Now for many of you reading this, attending church with your mother is not that big of a deal. For Laurie and I it was a new worship experience because my mother attends a congregation that is predominantly homosexual. The church meets in a rented storefront and there were about 20-25 people there that morning. My mother is a part of the praise team who leads out in worship through song. That morning, my mother's partner was asked to fill-in the pulpit for their pastor who was away, so as a show of support to her, Laurie and I decided to attend church with them.

Whenever I attend church I find it much easier to analyze and critique than to truly enter into worship, so it takes a concentrated effort for me to look past the distractions of who is sitting where and if the order of service seems too full or imbalanced and focus on the Audience of my Lord. This week I found it even more difficult to focus. Not because I was judging the people who gathered for worship or questioned their sincerity or genuineness of their faith, but because I was worried about what they must be thinking about me. I was sure they were looking at Laurie and I and either viewing us as spiritual "party crashers" or raising their defenses waiting for us to judge them assuming we were homophobic. I was VERY uncomfortable... at first.
I paused to say my own silent prayer asking God to focus my mind and attention on Him and to allow me to worship with and among this congregation.

It was a nice service. Cheri did a good job with her message. We took communion together and at the end of the service they had a moment of "sharing the peace of God with others" where the people greeted one another with a hug and the words, "may the peace of God be with you." Laurie and I got our fair share of hugs and one man chose to shake my hand and hug my wife (given the choice I'd do the same thing). I made a concerted effort to look people in the eye and hold their gaze with a smile as if to communicate, "I don't judge you." Quite often I found the same message in the eyes of those sharing the peace of God with me.