Irby Vaca Day 3

Day 3 was quite an adventure!  The day started off well with a refreshing morning of worship with Lifepoint which is the church in which Kyle serves as youth pastor.  The church meets in an AMC movie theater and it is quite an effort setting up the stage, lighting, band, etc. every week.  I have never visited a non-traditional church like this and had a great experience being welcomed and ushered into worship. 

After a quick trip back to the house, change of clothes, and a bite at Taco Bell, the family all headed to St. Louis City Museum.  The term "museum" is not indicative of the experience.  This is a huge warehouse that has been artfully transformed into a recreational experience that is quite incredible.  Be sure and wear your Nike's and not your flip-flops!  You will do some walking, climbing, and sliding in all sorts of environments.  The kids, Kyle, Emily, and Brooke were on the roof experiencing that element of the museum when it shut down because of this strange wet substance that came falling out of the sky.  The locals here called it "rain."  Those of us from West Texas have only heard rumors of this moisture.  It rained all day and into the night. 

Another quick trip and wardrobe change later and we head to Brussles, IL to a historic hotel that now serves a huge home-style meal.  To get to Brussles, we drove "the Great River Road" which was a breathtaking drive with the Illinois river on one side and rolling, green landscapes on the other.  This trek takes you through small communities with quaint homes and cottages that seems to take you back to a simpler time (until you look to the left and see the Yacht Club dock).  To get to Brussles you get to drive on to a ferry and take it across the river.  The ferry captain was quite skilled at getting this vessel turned and parked.  The 5 miles from the ferry to the town reminded me of the shots in New Zealand that were used in the Lord of the Rings movies to depict the Shire.  While waiting on the ferry to come pick us up and take us back, we notice a local man fishing right in front of the ferry dock.  This guy was getting lucky!  In about 10 casts, we saw him pull out 8 fish.  I was wishing I had my line and tackle and share in the festivities!  Seth was drooling with anticipation.

STORY OF THE DAY:  Apparently, everyone loved the late night Lisa's run last night, so it was decided before heading home, that we would make another trip to the ice cream stand.  While waiting in line to order, we see this red Grand Am being pushed by this man and a woman behind the wheel.  The natural assumption was that he was pushing her to the gas station.  As they passed, I thought, "How embarrassing!  I would hate having to push my car in front of all these people staring at me like I'm some pathetic idiot."  Then they turned off the main street and up a residential street which led me to realize that they were going to push this car to their home.  This residential street was up-hill and I knew this guy would never get the car up by himself.  Kyle, myself, and some other guy in line rush up to help him push the car up the street.  About 50 yards up the street, the man tells us that it is probably going to be about 4 blocks to the woman's house.  At this disclosure, the stranger, departed citing his food in the car and potentially melting ice cream.  Kyle, myself, and the original car pusher continue to push the car and it becomes clear this house was a little farther than 4 blocks (try 1 mile!).  The original pusher guy stops a couple times while we were pushing and is breathing and wheezing and saying he needed a break.  He tells Kyle and I that we are welcome to leave, but we weren't about to leave this guy to die in the street from a heart attack or some other malady.  Fortunately, Emily followed us in her Tahoe and when we reached our destination, she gave us a ride back to Lisa's.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  The man on the ferry who was in charge of opening the gate and directing passengers off was not in a good mood.  He was avoiding all eye-contact, frowning, and sluggishly bringing himself to his post.  Apparently, in the other car, his demeanor became the subject of comment and Seth said, "Well I guess he should've gone to college, then!" 

Irby Vaca Day 2

Travel Log for Day 2 is being written at the beginning of Day 3 because last night was a late night for this old guy.

Day 2 started by all who could sleep late, sleeping late.  We made our pilgrimage to one of St. Louis' most renowned barbeque joints, Pappy's Smokehouse.  This place has only been around for 5 or 6 years, but in that time it has gained quite a reputation.   The plan was to leave the house by 10:30 so we could arrive a little early to be in line.  Even though we arrived right on time, we still waited in line for about 20 minutes in a hallway leading into the actual restaurant, and then another 15-20 to order.  The good thing is the food doesn't take long to be delivered and it is well worth the wait.  Before we made it into the restaurant the line had already wound the hallway and out the door.  If you have never been, you have to order the ribs.  It's their specialty.  Ashton had a brisket sandwich which was also very good.

After eating, the shopping began.  We have learned that for shopping days, it is a good idea to take two cars so that the ladies can stay as long as they want and the men can leave after the first hour.  The ladies stayed shopping at 3 different malls for 8 hours.  The men went back to the house, napped, swam, and watched a little Cardinal baseball.

At 9:30 PM we all thought it was just about the right time to go have ice cream.  The Parkers know a great little ice cream stand (locally known as Lisa's, but the sign out front says "Dairy Mart") that closes at 10:00.  So, we went and closed the place down.  The owners drove off and bid us farewell as we sat in the dark at their picnic tables.  We arrived back at the house and began planning for the day.  I'm still not quite sure what we will be doing.

STORY OF THE DAY:  Leaving Pappy's we were following the ladies (first mistake) who took us downtown St. Louis on the way to the mall.  We ended up in a parade.  I sent Laurie a text and said, "Just roll down your windows and wave!" I also recommended that we open the sunroof and let Laurie's uncle Tommy stick his torso out and wave.  He didn't think that was a very good idea. 

The ladies have more stories about their day.  You'll have to ask them.

Irby Vaca Day 1

Well we did it.  Six of us piled into our suburban and drove across Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, and into Illinois. Twelve hours in the car.  Laurie was the trooper who drove most of the way because she can get easily car sick if she attempts to read or watch a movie.  So, instead of being bored, she drives.  The reason for our trip is to drop in on Laurie's cousin Emily and her husband Kyle who live in Granite City, IL.  We are excited to be here for the first time since they moved here 4 years ago.  Wanda and Jerry have visited once prior, but were glad to join us.  Tommy, Nece, and Brooke met us here so we are all together under one roof.  Should be exciting.


Story of the day:  We were driving through Oklahoma and Jerry and Wanda recommended we stop at a McDonald's located on a turnpike on I-44.  This particular restaurant has been there quite a while because Laurie remembers eating there MANY years ago on the way to Branson.  The plans to stop there began being formulated in Lawton, OK and it was decided that this restaurant is between Oklahoma City and Tulsa.  Well the road from Oklahoma City to Tulsa came and went with no McDonald's.  So, SURELY the restaurant is "right up here."  Well over 50 miles fly by and still no McDonald's.  We are now all getting really hungry and our bladders filling up at a rapid rate.  The McDonald's turns up 3/4 of the way from Tulsa to Joplin, MO.  Now, I am not a huge fan of McDonald's, but I had never been so happy to see a set of those golden arches in my life!

What I learned: 

• Oklahoma is a GREEDY state!  All the way up the interstate were toll roads, two of which were $4.00 tolls.  We spent nearly $20 to drive through Oklahoma and the roads were still crappy.  
• The landscape on the drive was beautiful!  Even Oklahoma had small mountains and green rolling pastures.  Missouri is incredible from Lebanon, MO on up to St. Louis.  Wonderful green contoured landscape and TREES.  Things we are not used to seeing in our part of Texas.
• The movie "Where the Wild Things Are" is worth a viewing.  Very interesting take on the children's book.  This was my viewing entertainment for the day.  I am still reading "The Idiot" as well.
• We stopped at a DQ in Lebanon, MO and I have never seen so many white people working at a DQ.

Oh, well, off to bed and in the morning the real adventure begins!

Coincidence

Toward the end of this semester of the Life Span Development class I teach,  we were discussing Erikson's middle adulthood stage of Generativity  vs. Stagnation.  Simply put, it is in this stage that 40-somethings begin to reflect on their life and see what kind of legacy they are leaving behind.  As a part of this discussion we address the existential issue of meaning.  Since HSU is a Christian University, as a part of this chapter I introduce the notion that the idea that "everything happens for a purpose" might be a bit off-base.  What I believe to be true, is slightly, but importantly different.  I believe "from everything a purpose can come."  I don't want to take too much time clarifying and explaining the difference (I already did that in a previous post a while ago).  As I offered my reasoning for the difference, a student raised her hand and asked me if I believed the saying, "there is no such thing as coincidence."  I thought for a moment formulating a response because I know how fervently some people can cling to such cliches as theological "shortcuts."  I decided the best route to follow was the frankly honest route. 

No, I don't believe that there is "no such thing as coincidence."  Simply because of the absolute nature of the statement -- "NO such thing..." I understand and appreciate the sentiment of the cliche which is to illustrate how God can work covertly to bring about "divine appointments" that others might simply explain away as simple coincidence.  It is the notion that every thing is connected and predetermined for a deeper meaning that only we can know in hindsight in this life or ultimately revealed to us in the next.  Again, I take issue with the absolute nature of that sentiment.  As an example, I shared how the other day my boss and I coincidentally wore the same color scheme to work (melon green polo shirt and khaki pants).  We don't have a uniform at work and we didn't call each other and arrange to be "twinkies" it just happened by coincidence. To believe there is "no such thing" would be to assign some type of deeper meaning to the unwitting coordination of colors.  I simply don't believe that to be the case.  Therefore, I do believe in coincidence.

However, I have had experiences that many would chalk-up to coincidence that I believe is true to the spirit of that cliche.  There have been numerous times I have had a random thought about an old friend or a former client who have not been an active part of my life for months or years and this friend calls out of the blue or the client returns to therapy within days of that seeming random thought.  It is almost like retrospective foreshadowing and I immediately believe there is a reason and orchestration to this "coincidence".

God still works in mysterious ways.

Considering the Controversy

If you have been paying attention to the latest news from contemporary evangelical leadership or even this morning's broadcast of Good Morning America, you have probably run across some reference to Rob Bell's new book, "Love Wins" in which he is purportedly said to "come out" as a universalist. Most of the attention he has received from Christendom has been sweepingly negative with the likes of Al Mohler and John Piper "writing him off" and bidding Bell "farewell." It should be noted that in the most general sense the term "universalist" is one who believes that on the Day of Judgment all will ultimately be redeemed and, in essence, "hell is empty." Universalism has a long-standing place in Christian history and my friend, who happens also to be a distinguished Baptist theologian, Steve Harmon has written an invaluable piece dedicated to the historical context of universalism and how the church as responded to such doctrine.  I recommend anyone desiring to make an informed assessment of Rob Bell and his latest work, to first read this post by clicking on Harmon's name above.  I do not wish this post to be an apologetic for Rob Bell, universalism, or his book "Love Wins."  I do, however wish to use this controversy as a spring board for discussing critical thought with regard to teachers, preachers, Christian authors and the individual Christian's response to those with whom he/she might differ.

In the interest of full disclosure, let me first state that I am not a universalist and I can certainly understand how adopting such a doctrinal stance can detract from the theology of grace and redemption which I hold dear.  Also, it should be noted that I have been a subscriber and faithful listener to the Mars Hill podcast for the last two years, have used many of his Nooma videos to enhance my teaching adult Bible Study, and am an aficionado of Bell's book "Velvet Elvis."  

In light of this disclosure, let us move forward considering the more broad issues.  First, allow me to suggest that Christians as well as non-Christians should read first-hand what a purported false teacher has to say rather than relying on the interpretation of others to make his/her determination.  Those of us from a traditional Baptist flavor would do well to revisit the doctrine of the priesthood of the believer (1963) which can be loosely applied here.

Additionally, there is no Christian teacher, preacher, or author that is without critique.  One should not simply listen to, or read one person's teaching and fully adopt what is being said without careful scrutiny.  One guideline for discernment is found in the Apostle John's first epistle (1 John 4:1-3) where Christians are challenged "not to believe every spirit, but test the spirits to determine if they are from God" (NET).  The only criteria posited in this passage is examining what the teacher says of Jesus -- is He the Messiah who has come in flesh and from God.  Recognizing that this particular admonition was in specific response to the Gnostic teachers does not prevent this criteria to be generalized into current Christian thought.  Specifically with regard to Rob Bell, I would be surprised to read him assert anything less about Jesus in this book if it is to echo what has been taught from his pulpit and stated in his previous texts. 

Lastly, a question is posed:  Should one doctrine (apart from the trinitarian theology) be a catalyst to completely dismiss one teacher's complete body of work as heresy?  I don't believe so.  Rob Bell, whether universalist or not, still has valuable insight into scripture and living the Christian life that is worth consideration. If doctrinal unity were the standard the Christian church would be regressing in its history by being most defined by it's division and disagreement than it's agreement.  Should this standard be carried into Christendom we would have Baptists "writing off" our Church of Christ "cousins" because they believe in baptism for the remission of sins and Baptists believe in baptism because of the remission of sins.  The comparative list can go on and on.  Our history has shown this is not the way of spreading the love and call of Christ.  And while we are on the subject, those who purport that Bell is not evangelical would be wise to watch or re-watch his Nooma video "Bullhorn" where he advocates for a more relational, rather than confrontational style of evangelism. 

It is good for people to read and be challenged by those who hold differing views.  It advances our cognitive abilities, stretches our understanding and conception, and can further solidify those beliefs we value.  A consistent theme of critical thinking is learning to weed through the good and the bad.  Personally, I believe Rob Bell has more good to share than heresy.  I look forward to critically reading "Love Wins."  I just downloaded it on my Kindle. 

Love and Fear

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19

“We love because He first loved us” – This is not the first occurrence of this phrase. The repetition of this idea means it is important. The tendency of many Christians is to interpret this notion as an obligation (i.e. Because he loves us we now HAVE to love others). It is His love that inspires us, it does not obligate us. It is His love that empowers us, because if we were to give our love it would be conditional and shallow. God’s love is unconditional and deep. If we truly recognize the depth of his love – that he would love me despite myself – I am going to want to share this love and acceptance to others. Love is the great equalizer, by recognizing God loves me despite myself, I recognize I have no room to not love others. I am no better than anyone else. Human beings are typically a fickle lot. We tend not to give ourselves the “benefit of the doubt” we give other people, but we also are guilty of thinking ourselves more highly than we ought. The psychological side of me understands that we take these vacillating stances of ourselves to avoid feeling anxiety or guilt.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” -- What keeps us from completely loving? Fear (a.k.a. anxiety). While this passage most definitely is social in nature, we tend to make the social focus more about loving the poor, needy, and those we find unlovable. This is certainly true! However, we must also keep in mind that this passage applies to our home; those closest to us. Fear keeps us from completely loving our spouse and children. Fear keeps us from loving those extended family members that have hurt us. The most common fears are: rejection, being hurt again, and losing control. These fears push people away from us, while love draws us closer. “Fear involves punishment” can mean that we fear punishment (e.g. being rejected and hurt) or use fear to withdraw love and inflict punishment. The effect is the same, creating emotional distance which goes against what we truly want which is to be loved and accepted deeply and unconditionally.

CLARIFICATION: I am not suggesting that we become “doormats” (esp. with regard to leaving abusive relationships).

More Than We Can Handle

The following is an unedited copy of an article I wrote for the Abilene Mental Health Association's series on integrating faith and psychology that will be published sometime in December in the Abilene Reporter News. This subject has been a pet-peeve of mine for some time.

=========================================

I know why we do it. We know and love someone who is experiencing grief related to a death or surviving a trauma of some sort and we want to offer words of encouragement and hope to let them know we love them and are hurting for them. For many people, being around those who are hurting is an uncomfortable experience so they reach for something to say that might break the tension they feel. One of the most common offerings given to those grieving is common Christian clichés that many believe are grounded biblically and therefore can bring comfort. One of the most common clichés given is “God will never give you more than you can handle.” This statement is going to be examined along two levels. The first level is looking at the biblical basis for the cliché and the second is following the logic of the cliché and assessing whether or not we are expressing what is true and helpful to those grieving.

“God will never give us more than we can handle.” The only place in scripture I can find any semblance of support for this sentiment is in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that reads: “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (NIV, emphasis mine). This text speaks of temptation and not trial. James’ epistle speaks of trials as a testing of our faith, not a testing of our own strength. The life of faith is a life to be lived dependent upon God’s work in and through us. In fact, it seems to be a central theme to the whole of scripture that God consistently gives us more than we can handle because when we recognize we cannot handle our circumstances, we are open to recognizing our God who can handle any and all of our suffering and pain. Consider the Old Testament account of the 12 spies sent to investigate the Promised Land. Ten of the spies returned discouraged believing the land would never be theirs as God had promised because the men were like giants. Two of the spies, the faithful spies (Caleb and Joshua) focused rather on God’s ability not man’s inability. The message of this cliché seems to be that it is God’s role to filter through trials, protect us against those that are too tough for us, and allow only those we are strong enough to bear. While God is in the equation of this cliché, the focus of the cliché is on us and our ability which, again, seems contrary to a life of faith.

Evangelist Richard Jackson has said that God often does not get enough credit for things he is responsible for, and often gets too much blame for things He is not. It is this sentiment that fuels my examination of these cliché’s. If we are to offer words of comfort, let’s make sure they are genuine representatives of God in our suffering. The place of God in our suffering is with us and in us via His Holy Spirit. In this example of God’s presence with us, that we can find how to truly be a comforter in the lives of those we love. Honestly, the best comfort most people can give is not in their words of wisdom, but in their presence. The Jewish people have a tradition of “Sitting Shiva” for those who are grieving. In this practice a person is simply being present. There is no pressure to speak or act, simply to be. The presence of one person who cares is more powerful than a book filled with clichés.