Ejected!

I got kicked out of a Middle School gym this weekend.

This weekend my daughter's team played in an 8th grade basketball tournament in Sweetwater, TX. They played two games on Friday night and one early Saturday morning. Their first game was against Midland Christian School who has a 6 foot 8th grade girl on the team. The Jim Ned Lady Indians (JNLI) eeked out a 1 point win against a competitve ball team. It was fun to watch! Then fifteen minutes after their first game, JNLI had to play against the host team the 8th grade B Team of the Sweetwater Lady Mustangs. This game was NOT fun to watch. In fact it was horrifying!

After the game, as we discussed what it was like, the consensus was that it was like watching something out of a bad prison movie. I have never seen any team so inappropriately aggressive as the Sweetwater 8th grade B team. Many of the JNLI parents passed comments back and forth through out the game wondering if the JNLI coach would forefit and walk out at half time. It was literally that bad. My family and I happened to eat at the same restraunt as the team after the game and the coach told us it was one of the most unsafe environments in which she had ever been.

Half-way through the third quarter after 3 of our girls were injured, I noticed a man who seemed to be a school offical/administrator talking to the referees. It was my assumption that he was telling them to get the game under control and to speak to the Sweetwater coach about the chaoticly aggressive manner of play. The Sweetwater grils seemed to ease up in the 4th quarter. Through out the game I had been considering writing a letter to the Sweetwater ISD about how apalling this experience had been and I believe I am pretty good at composing rational, professional, yet direct correspondence. But seeing this man have this talk with the referees, I thought a face-to-face conversation would be appropriate as well, and he might be willing to receive it. So, I began to formulate my thoughts and strategy as to how to approach him without coming across as an out of control parent.

At the end of the game, I approached this man just after he escorted the referees to their changing room. I extended my hand, introduced myself by name and as a parent with the Jim Ned team. I then asked if he was indeed a school offical. He confirmed that he was a school official, and I thought the best means of begining this conversation was with a complament. So, I said to him, "I appreciate you talking to those referees during the game." The man smiled and nodded and basically said, "Yeah, no problem." Then I told him, "But sir, it should have been done long before the 3rd quarter because what was going on out there was apalling." Apparently, he didn't like this part. He asked me if I was a school offical and when he confirmed I was "just a parent" he got this dismissive expression on his face and said, "Oh, OK, OK, yeah, OK, thank you very much Mr. Irby for your comment. Thank you very much." and he started walking back toward the crowd. I walked behind him and was about to add my final comment which was going to be, "Someone should have a talk with that girls' coach about what she is allowing to happen on the court." I only got up to "girls' coach" when he whirled around, red-faced and yelled in my face, "That girls' coach is my wife!" He continued yelling, "You have just crossed a line! Get out of my gym and get out now before I call the police Mr. Irby!" "Don't you come back!" I told him I would be glad to leave and walked away. I later found out that my family thought the guy was going to hit me. I didn't have that fear because he had already threatened to call the cops, and knew he probably wouldn't risk an asault charge.

I went to our suburban and waited for my family to get there. I didn't know if they would be embarrassed, angry, or what. Turned out, they were glad I had talked with the man and for maintaining composure.

I understand the man being upset with me, but his behavior was extreme and completely unprofessional. I did not know the coach was married to the official, and I think if I had slandered her in some way, I should have been ejected. I was simply trying to follow what I thought to be the appropriate "chain of command" to have something done about the inappropriate aggression taking place on the court. While I know it is up to the coaches and referees to maintain order, when both fail to do so, I think it is the administrations place to step in and bring about a solution. This administrator had other viable choices such as continuing to be dismissive with me and saying, "OK, I'll be sure someone talks with her." or by simply telling me "Excuse me, that coach is my wife and I would appreciate it if you would keep your opinions about her to yourself." Either one would have been much more appropriate.

After our final game on Saturday (which I attended), the JNLI coach asked that we be "uninvited" next year. She clarified to the Sweetwater coach that this had been one of the most unsafe environments in which she had ever coached because apparently the A team had a similar experience.

I never thought I'd be ejected from a gym.

Sweet 16

Today I have been married to my incredible wife for 16 years. The cool thing about being married on January 1 is that every new year together is literally a new year. There are "uncool" thinigs about being married on January 1. Such as the busyness of the holiday season interfering with a true celebration of the years spent together and the hit our budgets take at Christmas usually makes for anniversaries that are not marked with the kinds of gifts we would like to give. However, we do make time for a night out after the fact. Time with just my wife is something I cherrish and is increasingly more rare the older our children become.

One of the strengths of our marriage is that we have usually communicated about those important things. We talked and prayed about uprooting our family and leaving what was familiar in 2001 and beginning a very new and often stressful time in our lives. We have talked about the need to "go easy" on the anniversary gifts because of Christmas and the need to be sacrifical with some of our time alone to be more involved and devoted to our children during this important stage of their development. Now, that doesn't mean we always agree on everything, but one thing I can say about us as a couple is that in 16 years I don't remember either of us yelling and screaming at the other when angry. And believe me, I am not the easiest person to live with (no comments from the peanut gallery please). Respect and love for one another have been cardinal traits of this relationship. I cannot say thank you enough to her.

The apostle Paul reminds us if we are to boast it is to boast in and about Christ. He is the One I give the credit for these 16 years. It is his sustaining and overflowing grace that has brought us to and through all these years. He has blessed me with an incredibly kind, loving, gentle, extension of himself in Laurie. I cannot imagine life without her, nor would I want to. He teaches me through her on an almost daily basis. Plus, she is smokin' hot!

Sara B

A while back during a visit with my brother and his family, my brother and I got into this discussion that caused us to sound like the stereo-typical old codgers. The subject of the discussion was music today. It was decided by us (which by the way is the ultimate authority) that there is no current group or artist that has grabbed us to the point that we want to just listen to their music over-and-over. There are no songs that captivate us to the point of wanting to listen to them enough where we can sing along. All the many factors such as quality of music to lack of beauty and theme were discussed which further solidified our opinions.

Then a few months later, I discovered Sara Bareilles. I heard "Love Song" on that Direct TV commercial and thought it sounded pretty good! Ashton wanted the single on her MP3 player, so I downloaded it for her and added it on my iPhone. I listened and loved it! Decided to download the whole "Little Voices" album and it is now in constant rotation on my iPhone selections. It has been a LONG time since I have encounterd a full album without a weak link. Bareilles' voice is rich and emotive. The music she has composed is down-right addicting. This is a great artist and a tremendous album. I want to hear and learn her songs (even though I have a very difficult time singing like a girl--no comments please!).

I think I'll buy a copy for my brother.

Small World

This morning a good friend of ours, Dana, brought her mother to church with her. When introduced to me, she commented, "Irby? I knew an Irby when I was at school at North Texas State." Knowing that my father had attended North Texas State, I asked her if his name was, "Bob or Robert" she said, "No" and then explained that she dated this Irby for a while. Gaging her approximate age and thinking this coincidence, is too great, I explained that my father went to North Texas and was a music major. This jarred her memory and she said, "well, the Irby I knew was a music major." Turns out she did date my dad in college and journeyed with him and a quintet of singers who called themselves the "Dipsy Doodlers" one summer. This summer tour was one that my dad spoke of often with fondness. There is a framed black and white picture of him and the other "doodlers" in full hillbilly garb prominently displayed in his study. As we talked, she said that she had a print of the same picture. While musing about their summer, she commented, "I think we decided that we loved each other, but were not 'in love' with each other."

As we were all walking out of the room in which we were talking, Dana turns to me and says, "You know my mother was one of the 'North Texas Beauties' when she was in school." Way to go dad!

Oh, Please!!!

Today, I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with my wonderful wife. It is rare more due to my schedule than hers. Since my morning appointments all canceled and/or rescheduled, it freed me up to do something I love to do.

On the way to her school, I was listening to Paul Harvey deliver the news. A mixture of emotions ranging from frustration, sadness, and disbelief manifested themselves as sarcastic laughter as I heard his proclamation that LifeWay Christian Bookstores has hidden the most recent issue of "Gospel Today" Magazine. To purchase this month's issue you must REQUEST it. Why? Why is a Christian magazine censored as if it were a pornographic publication? Because, the cover displayed WOMEN! Not women who are scantily clad or of questionable reputation. Women who dare to serve in the role of Pastor.

You see LifeWay Christian Bookstores is owned by the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC)and the ordination of women as pastor or chaplain is viewed as unbiblical and therefore doctrinally unsound. Therefore, the magazine cover and subsequent story of women who love God, love people, and spend time in prayerful biblical study and preparation before being God's mouth-piece is somehow offensive. Oh, Please!

A quick Google of the issue brought me to a pastor's blog who stated that he supported the SBC in this stance adding that "scripture is clear [about this issue]." Oh, Please! I'm sorry, but to believe that scripture is "clear" on this issue and on the side of the SBC's most recent revision of the Baptist Faith and Message is utterly ridiculous and it is a narrow interpretation of passages detailing the people to serve as overseers as "husband of one wife" and completely ignores the role of people like Deborah and Phoebe.

It embarrasses me as a Christian and as a Baptist to hear a story like this broadcast.

Let me be clear... LifeWay has the right to censor what resources they offer and where they place products based on their doctrinal stances. On some level, I respect the fact that they have guts enough to allow their convictions to determine their course (such is the life of faith). According to a loose and abridged take on the "priesthood of the believer" doctrine we have the ability to disagree on interpretations. There are more important issues about which we as Christians and Baptists should be proactive. Issues about which we agree. Issues that can lead to more healing and restoration rather than more division. Maybe, this posting does the same thing -- further widens the gap of division.

I should've just told you how awesome it was to have lunch with my wife on a Tuesday.

"Being" versus "Doing"

As a church we are going through a bible study series called "Inside Out." One of the first studies focused on the difference between "doing church" and "being church." The obvious correlation to the theme, is "doing church" is what typically happens within the walls of the church (i.e. attending programs/meetings) and "being church is what happens on the outside of the walls (e.g. building relationships with unchurched and/or "least of these"). While I agree with the premise, I find it somewhat limited. First of all, I think we should "be the church" to those in the church. This can and should happen within the walls of the church. What happens when those "unchurched" start "doing church" and they find Christians who won't "be the church" in the church? For that matter, what about those long-time faithful who are hurting and seem to fall through the cracks because we are so busy doing church?

Here are a few more insights pondered as a result of the study:

1. When we talk about "being church" the focus seems to be primarily on others "out there" and we tend to forget that we need to be the church to our spouses and children before or as we are being the church to "them."

2. We discussed "barriers" that prevent the church or Christianity from palatability in much of society. There is a wonderful trend in evangelical Christian literature and teaching that is emphasizing the relationship style of evangelism versus the "hit and run" confrontation style that was so popular through the 70's, 80's, and early 90's. This trend also emphasizes the need to be salt and light in the world and the power of love over condemnation. I think of the ancient words of the Psalmist that Chris Tomlin integrated in to one of his songs, "It's your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance." This trend will remove much of the barriers history has given us.

I need to spend more time "being" (i.e. moving out the way and allowing Christ to emanate through me) as salt and light.

Random

Just a couple random thoughts I had on the drive into work today.

1. I started an experiment to see how much slowing down on the highway would truly save on gas. Driving to work for me means about 18 miles, 15 of which are highway with very little traffic (i.e. no "stop-start" rush hours)and about 6 intersections off the highway at least 3 of which I have timed out to catch the green light. Prior to the experiment I was filling up with gas once a week - occasionally once every 8 days. Last Tuesday (8 days ago) I filled up after work. I have slowed my highway driving to 60 MPH from 70-73 MPH. Today I am still above the "half tank" (barely).

2. Dry cleaners who wish to save money yet still maintain a semblance of organization could e-mail claim slips to customers. Saves on paper and ink costs and provides the consumer with at least the idea that they will keep the order straight. I thought first about texting slips, but realized that would probably require development of new software and expensive computer upgrades. Surely there is a cost-effective, streamline way to e-mail them.