“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19
“We love because He first loved us” – This is not the first occurrence of this phrase. The repetition of this idea means it is important. The tendency of many Christians is to interpret this notion as an obligation (i.e. Because he loves us we now HAVE to love others). It is His love that inspires us, it does not obligate us. It is His love that empowers us, because if we were to give our love it would be conditional and shallow. God’s love is unconditional and deep. If we truly recognize the depth of his love – that he would love me despite myself – I am going to want to share this love and acceptance to others. Love is the great equalizer, by recognizing God loves me despite myself, I recognize I have no room to not love others. I am no better than anyone else. Human beings are typically a fickle lot. We tend not to give ourselves the “benefit of the doubt” we give other people, but we also are guilty of thinking ourselves more highly than we ought. The psychological side of me understands that we take these vacillating stances of ourselves to avoid feeling anxiety or guilt.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” -- What keeps us from completely loving? Fear (a.k.a. anxiety). While this passage most definitely is social in nature, we tend to make the social focus more about loving the poor, needy, and those we find unlovable. This is certainly true! However, we must also keep in mind that this passage applies to our home; those closest to us. Fear keeps us from completely loving our spouse and children. Fear keeps us from loving those extended family members that have hurt us. The most common fears are: rejection, being hurt again, and losing control. These fears push people away from us, while love draws us closer. “Fear involves punishment” can mean that we fear punishment (e.g. being rejected and hurt) or use fear to withdraw love and inflict punishment. The effect is the same, creating emotional distance which goes against what we truly want which is to be loved and accepted deeply and unconditionally.
CLARIFICATION: I am not suggesting that we become “doormats” (esp. with regard to leaving abusive relationships).
2 comments:
I don't know if I agree with the ideaolgy that "It is his love
that inspires us, not obligates us". While it is a great notion,
love does indeed obligate us. It does call us to be obediant
to our purpose.
An example: I prepare dinner every night for my family,
I would like to think
that for the most part it is out of love - but there are some
nights - I confess, it is out of nothing but obligation. Do I love
my family with any less perfect heart? I do not think so. Maybe
part of love is understanding that some things are obligitory.
Denise: Point well made. I don't think our views are necessarily in opposition to one another. You correctly point out that love is much more than emotion. It is an act of the will; a commitment; a choice that is made at times despite emotion. As far as I can tell our disagreement is semantic, over the word "obligate." One of my favorite definitions of love to which I often refer is: "Love is an act of the will guided by emotion that drives one to act on behalf of it's object." This definition encompasses all aspects of love. While it is primarily a commitment and choice it can be, and is, guided by emotion. It is this guiding force to which I was referring when I mention "inspire". I don't believe you are "obligated" to cook supper, but I do believe your affection for your family (emotion) overrides your feeling of exhaustion and guides you to commit to cook for them. You are making a choice based on what you believe is best not allowing the most nagging emotion (exhaustion) to dictate behavior.
The point of this "Love and Fear" blog post is to address specifically when fear impedes the expression of love and to note that in the life of a Christ-follower, the recognition that God first loved us (warts and all) can diffuse the pride/fear that can prevent love from being expressed. It is this inspiration that can guide the expression of love even when we aren't necessarily "gung ho" about it.
Thanks for commenting! Please feel free to do so in the future.
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